Prenatal Breastfeeding Preparation: Why Breastfeeding Can Feel Hard at First (and How to Prepare)
- Rebecca McCann
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
Before starting my private practice, I worked in the hospital for 15 years - first as a postpartum nurse, then as an IBCLC. During that time, one of the most common questions I heard from new parents in the first few days after birth was:
“Breastfeeding is supposed to be natural. So why does it feel so hard?"
The truth is, breastfeeding is natural - but that doesn’t mean it comes naturally. Modern life has stripped away many of the supports that once made breastfeeding easier. Let’s explore why breastfeeding can feel so challenging in the early days, and what you can do before birth to make it easier.
Why Breastfeeding Can Feel Hard in the Beginning
Breastfeeding Is a Learned Skill
Babies are born with many amazing reflexes that help them breastfeed, but it can still take time for both of you to find a rhythm and feel like you've really got the hang of it. Breastfeeding is a skill—one that you and your baby learn together.
It’s completely normal if it doesn’t go smoothly right from the start. Be patient with yourself and your baby. With time, practice, and the right support, it does get easier. I often tell parents it's like learning to ride a bike: it can feel awkward at first (maybe even a little scary), but eventually you do it without even thinking.
Modern Parents Get Less Exposure and Support
For thousands of years - and still in many parts of the world - people lived in close-knit family or community groups where breastfeeding was a visible, everyday part of life. Women grew up watching their mothers, aunts, friends, and older sisters breastfeed, so by the time they had babies of their own, the process already felt familiar.
These close-knit communities also provided built in support. Family members, midwives, or experienced mothers could provide hands-on help. In very difficult situations, other lactating women might even step in as wet nurses. New parents weren't expected to figure everything out alone.
The Missing Village
Many of no longer have that built-in village. For a lot of parents, breastfeeding is something they encounter for the first time with their own baby - we didn't grow up seeing it as a part of everyday life. Breastfeeding rates in the U.S. were also much lower in recent decades, which means many of our parents and grandparents don't have personal breastfeeding experience or wisdom to share.
Without prior exposure to breastfeeding or strong community support, the learning curve can feel steep. For families living far from relatives or without a reliable support system, the early days can feel especially isolating and difficult. Tasks that a village once shared - newborn care, meals, household chores, and caring for older children - often fall entirely on the new parents.
Breastfeeding becomes much more manageable when there is a strong support system in place during the 4th trimester, allowing the mother time to recover from childbirth and focus on feeding her baby.
Birth and Hospital Experiences Can Affect Early Feeding
Birth experiences matter. Interventions such as epidurals, pain medication, cesarean sections, or instrumental deliveries (like forceps or vacuum-assisted births) can sometimes make breastfeeding more challenging in the early days. These interventions may temporarily affect a baby's feeding reflexes, delay milk production, or increase the likelihood of mother-baby separation after birth.
Sometimes these choices are made intentionally (no judgement here!), and other times they are necessary or even life-saving. Either way, if feeding feels harder afterward, it is not a reflection of something you are doing wrong. It's simply information that helps explain what's happening.
Formula supplementation can also influence early feeding. Formula is absolutely necessary in some situations and is an important option for many families. I have nothing against formula or families who choose to use it. However, many healthcare providers today suggest formula supplementation as a first solution when challenges arise, rather than addressing underlying breastfeeding issues with skilled lactation support.
When formula is introduced early without a clear plan or adequate support, it can complicate or derail the breastfeeding relationship. Used thoughtfully and appropriately, it can be part of a broader feeding strategy - but it shouldn't replace lactation care when breastfeeding challenges arise.
How Prenatal Breastfeeding Preparation Helps
Understanding What to Expect
Learning about breastfeeding before your baby arrives can have a meaningful impact on your early experience. Prenatal breastfeeding preparation helps you understand:
What's normal for feeding patterns and milk supply
What's expected - and when to seek help
How to prevent or manage common issues like sore nipples, plugged ducts, and mastitis
Proper latch and positioning techniques, which can reduce pain, support milk supply, and help your baby transfer more milk
Research shows that parents who take prenatal breastfeeding classes are more likely to start and continue breastfeeding. Additionally, if you've never seen breastfeeding up close, attending a breastfeeding support group during pregnancy can help you feel more familiar with the process. Many groups welcome pregnant parents. As a bonus, you’ll already have a support network in place when your baby arrives.
Knowing Where and When to Get Support
Connecting with an IBCLC before your baby is born can make a real difference. A prenatal consultation allows you to talk through concerns, set expectations, and create a plan for the early days. Just as importantly, you'll already know who to contact if challenges arise - making it much easier to access timely support when you need it most.
Why Prenatal Breastfeeding Preparation Matters More Than You Think
The Early Postpartum Period Is Not Ideal For Learning
The early postpartum days can be intense. You're going to be recovering from childbirth, caring for a newborn, sleeping less than usual, and feeding your baby frequently. Newborns typically nurse at least eight times per day - and often more.
Trying to learn everything about breastfeeding on the fly can add unnecessary stress. Ideally, those early days are reserved for rest, recovery, and bonding.
Interestingly, hormonal changes in the postpartum period also affect the brain. These hormone shifts actually cause physical changes in the brain that support bonding and caregiving, but can also make it harder to retain and recall new information. In other words, new parents aren't in an ideal physical or mental state to learn everything they need to know about breastfeeding after birth.
Hospital Support Is Often Limited
Many parents assume they'll learn to breastfeed in the hospital - but it's important to set realistic expectations.
I say this as someone who worked as a mother-baby nurse for six years and a hospital lactation consultant for nine. Hospital staff are often knowledgeable and well-intentioned, but hospitals are busy places. Nurses are caring for multiple families at once, and their availability to help with feeding can be limited. Hospital lactation consultants may also be covering many patients and prioritizing based on medical need.
In some hospitals, there may be one lactation consultant for dozens of patients. Even if your hospital has lactation consultants on staff, you may only see them one time before discharge. The system simply isn't designed to provide consistent, in-depth feeding support around the clock.
What Prenatal Breastfeeding Preparation Can Look Like
Preparing for breastfeeding ahead of time doesn't have to be hugely complicated. A few intentional steps can help reduce anxiety, clarify expectations, and make the transition into parenthood fell more manageable.
Here are my top recommendations:
Take a prenatal breastfeeding class. If you're looking for a place to start, I offer a comprehensive, online, on-demand breastfeeding class you can watch at your own pace from the comfort of home.
Connect with a lactation consultant before birth. A prenatal visit allows you to discuss concerns, develop a feeding plan, and know exactly who to call if challenges arise. Click here if you'd like to learn more about a my prenatal offerings.
Build a postpartum support plan. Stock up on postpartum supplies, create a support network, and plan for the 4th trimester ahead of time. You can read more about this in this blog post.
If this still feels overwhelming, start simple with my free Prenatal Breastfeeding Checklist - a calm, practical guide to preparing without buying everything or overthinking. It includes a streamlined supply list (what you actually need and what to skip), pump and bottle recommendations, and flange sizing basics.
Reassurance For Expecting Parents
Breastfeeding has a learning curve, but it doesn't have to feel overwhelming - especially when you prepare ahead of time. Preparation doesn't need to be perfect or extensive. Knowing the basics and knowing where to turn for help can make a real difference in those early postpartum day.
Support is always available, and you don't have to do this alone.
